YAY!
Ok enough of all the computer talk. I'm feeling very wiped out today.Had school in the morning and could BARELY drag myself to school. Went to Suntec with Kim and Shah. Had tons of fun. But in the end I ended up feeling doubly tired. Took really weird random photos will update them online and you can see for yourself how GAY we could be.(:
That aside, I'm feeling emo. YES PEOPLE I'm feeling emo. I don't know why but I have this bout of emoness this past two days. Perhaps I'm just PMS-ing? Who knows?
This sucks really. I have quite a few matters on my mind. If you get what I'm saying you'll get it. If you don't, than you won't. (: (not making sense I know...) I feel very liberated in some ways. Liberated to the point of which I enjoy myself not having to commit to anything or anyone. If you get the point here then you'll probably understand my dilema. I felt that I had enough of sharing myself with another party, felt that there's alot more out there for me to see.
You see, I found the meaning to selfish. Yes, after being so selfless, practically throwing myself to sastisfy other people's whim I had decided to bid adieu and do myself some justice. Gosh I sound like I'm on vengence but I guess I'm not. I don't know. I love myself too much to subject myself once again to something which I find to be rather nocuous in nature. And that is.. - - - - . The four letter word. Alright call me cowardly or what you will but hey like the saying : Once bitten twice shy. ARE YOU CRAZY? And with the ' O's around the corner, I'm really thinking twice.
PAH! You know, I really find people who uses thier 'o's as excuse to be extremly idotic and can't-you-find-a-better-excuse? ish. But now, perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps it's REALLY the 'O' s.
Of course, I love the company, the exclusiveness, the comforting sms-es, the butterfly in the stomach feeling,the whole package lar. But I'm scared. Fuck yea. These things called emotions, they are waaaay too deep. And somehow I'm scared I might look too deep into the meaning. We are so young lar! But I can't lose everything. And once again, my idea of selfishness is conflicting.I feel so bloody guilty. I just don't know, I feel so upset with myself. Such a sweet wonderful person to be affilated with someone like me.
They have a chance to be better off without me but yet, they are now stucked. It's cruel to them. I just feel so guilty.
And yet when I wanna say goodbye, I just can't help but cry. Yes fucking cry. Cos I miss them already. I miss them so so much. I just can't imagine a day without an sms or someone to seat and stare at. WHAT is this? I just want them to be close to me. And that will be at thier expense. Cruel bitch right?
Gosh gosh gosh... WHat mess have I gotten myself in??This is just so sad.. I'm not blaming anyone.. (even tho I wished I could!)things just turned out this way. And I don't know what to do.. *le sigh* And I'm BLOODY SURE THAT ALL THE KAYPOH OUT THERE ARE HAPPY! To the KAYPOS: See I'm so nice, to let you guys know about my personal life. SO does it answer your queries? No? Too bad :( Stop asking me questions in public. You're not a paparazzi. Hell you'll do a better job then them.
I'm so tired. TIRED! I miss him. Heh.ANd my throat's not getting any better..I sound like this guy :
SEXY MUCH??
It hurts like a fecking bitch and I just wanna weep... SO sad.. My voice!! Gaaah. Other then that I'm pretty much busy. Gosh... why on Earth did they creat 'O' levels?? 6 hours regime?? Ha ha hahahahahahah hah. If I get through this, I'm gonna papmer myself with Archies comic book OR more clothes shopping. OR BOTH! Mwahahahs. (: Anyways a song stuck in head.. Good song to describe the state of mind.!
Baby, baby this situation's driving me crazy, crazyOH YEA YOU FUCKER! (:
And I really wanna be your lady, lady
But the one before you left me so
Damaged, damaged, damaged, damaged,
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is Damaged,
So Damaged, so damaged,
And you can blame the one before
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