random thoughts.

That's what happens when Insomnia strikes!!!!


WARNING-EMO THOUGHTS.




I've been remembering stuff of lately, like how it feels like to stay up late waiting for someone who promised they'll be coming for me. But they didn't. And instead I ended up hating myself the next day for falling asleep.

I remembered how it feels like to hold on to that Teddy bear,cos her perfume still lingers on, and how she used to buy me expensive things cos she felt guilty that she wasn't there.

I remembered how it feels like to be sitting alone in the dark toilet,because someone thought it will be funny to lock me up inside it for 3 hours.

Or how they will make me wear dresses too tight and tear up my clothes cos they think that my clothes are too "childish" . And how they'll step on me when they are not happy about something.

I remembered feeling glasses cutting my skin, and when the hands that cut me wasn't mine.

Or how to be told that I have no family, because a family consists of a mother and a father, and I only had one.

And you think I'm being a bitch for nothing.

I guess that's why I'm so hard sometimes.Cos i never had it easy. Maybe I'm more fucked up then anything, but at least I'm not the one who's fucked up now.

Remembering these things, they make me feel bitter. Like I swallowed something horrible and I can't spit it out.

But these things are the one who makes me proud of myself. I never let anyone touch me ever again.Nor do I let anyone hurt me- cos I'll fuck them up so bad, their mothers won't recognize them(:

Insomnia really sucks big time.

But like what someone says.

"I laughed the loudest, who would've known"

Laugh loud.Live now. Die happy.


urgh.emo thoughts.